PRESENTING IN SLC September 23rd and 24th, 2011

UPDATE: (Written October 22, 2011) I am planning to return to SLC to do another class series in 2012 similar to the structure of the classes in September of 2011 (although the content and specifics of these classes continues to evolve). Details of these events will follow in the coming weeks:


I will be presenting in SLC on the subject of sexuality and desire to LDS women and couples. (Two events --- See below):


FRIDAY, September 23rd at 7:00 p.m. : LDS Women and Sexual Desire:
I will be speaking to LDS women about the cultural and psychological barriers to desire comon to many LDS women, as well as how to shift one's relationship to sexuality to make it more pleasurable and desirable. This presentation will be held on Friday the 23rd of September, from 7:00 to 9:30 p.m. COST: $25/person ($20/person if you bring a friend).

SATURDAY, September 24th, at 10:00 a.m.: Enhancing Sexual Intimacy for LDS Couples:
I will be speaking to LDS couples about interpersonal dynamics and realities that interfere with desire and attraction in long-term relationships, as well as how to understand and address these relational challenges as a couple. (You do not have to come as a couple to attend this seminar). The seminar will include presentation and discussion. I will also send you home with exercises that you can work on together. This event will begin at 10:00 a.m. and go until 12:30 noon, and will resume again at 2:00 and go until 4:30. COST: $75 / couple. $40 / individual. You can also purchase half-day tuition for $40 per couple if you cannot make the entire event.


LOCATION: First Baptist Church of Salt Lake City, 777 South 1300 East in Salt Lake City, 84102. Events will be held in Keck Hall.


(I will also be available on Saturday evening for one on one meetings with any individual or couple who would like some individual input from me. Please contact me for pricing and availability.)

If you have any questions, or would like to receive email updates, please contact me through my contact form. Hope to see you there!

Mormon Stories Podcast : Sexual Agency in LDS women

I was interviewed on Mormon Stories in December about the subject of my dissertation (LDS women and sexuality) and my work with LDS couples on sexuality issues. If you'd like to listen, please go to
www.mormonstories.org/?p=1384

CURRENT ONLINE CLASS LISTINGS

I am offering the Strengthening Your Relationship On-line Course again April 23 through June 11th (with no class held on May 14th or 21st)Classes will be held Saturday Evenings at 9:00 p.m., CST. (See below for course content information and the sidebar to sign up).


I am also offering the Enhancing Sexual Intimacy On -line Course for LDS Couples April 22 - June 10th (with no class on May 20th). Classes will be held Friday evenings at 9:30 p.m. CST. (See below for course content information and the sidebar to sign up).



Strengthening Your Relationship Course Content:

Class 1: The Universal Challenge of Emotional Intimacy

Class 2: Relational Losing Strategies: When and Why We Use Them.

Class 3: Defining Your Relational Dance: What You And Your Spouse Do to Interfere with Emotional Intimacy

Class 4: Relational Winning Strategies: Getting More of What You Want

Class 5: Effective Speaking: Boundaries and Empathy.

Class 6: Empathic Listening: Generosity and Accountability.

Classes are 70 minutes in length.

Enhancing Sexual Intimacy Course Content

Class 1: Sexuality and Dissatisfaction: When sex isn't natural.

Class 2: Roadblocks to Sexual Desire: Psychological and Cultural Barriers.

Class 3: Roadblocks to Sexual Fulfillment: Reconciling Love and Desire.

Class 4: Understanding Your Relational Barriers to Passion.

Class 5: Claiming your Sexuality: The Will to Desire.

Class 6: Deepening The Passion: Solidifying Your Connection.

Class 7: Fantasy and Communication: Bringing Desires into the Relationship.

Classes are 50 minutes in length.

The Strengthening Your Relationship Course is an excellent foundation for the Enhancing Sexual Intimacy Course. While not required, it is recommended that you take the relationship course first or in conjunction with the sexuality course.

These courses are on-line. Therefore there will be a video element that allows you to see powerpoint slides, watch videos selected by the instructor to demonstrate principles, and see the instructor (me) throughout the class. You will simultaneously be on conference call so you can ask questions as needed. This format allows you to attend and learn while maintaining privacy if desired.

All classes are RECORDED and sent to the participants. So if you or your spouse is not able to attend a class, you can watch it after the fact.

Please see the column to the right for Class Sign-ups and deadlines. If you have any questions about the courses, please send a message through my contact form, and let me know if you'd like to receive email updates about this class.

COURSE RECOMMENDATIONS FROM PREVIOUS PARTICIPANTS:

"I have found great value in Jennifer's courses. The curriculum is very practical and broken down in an easy way. I was able to begin making changes in my relationship right away. Jennifer is a fantastic instructor!" Rachel R., Glencoe, IL

"Taking Jennifer's Strengthening Relationships course with my husband has significantly improved the quality of our marriage by providing us with concrete tools to communicate better. The insights and principles she presents have been invaluable in working towards a healthy eternal marriage. I would hightly recommend the class to newlyweds and not-so-newly weds alike." Stacy H., Wilmette, IL

Presenting in Manhattan, March 12th at 7:00 p.m.

Presenting to LDS women in NYC on the subject of sexuality and desire: How to attend to the roadblocks to desire in your relationship and within yourself, and to find more satisfaction in the sexual realm. Presentation will be 2 hours and the cost is $40/person. The venue is small and space will be limited to 30 people. So registration will be first come, first serve. If you know you'd like to attend, please contact me to hold your spot and get the address for the event. People have begun signing up, so if you know you'd like to attend, let me know ASAP.

Presenting in Winnetka, IL April 7th. Free Lecture

Developing Solid Boundaries and Self-Esteem: The Foundation of Happier, Healthier Relationships
Free lecture sponsored by The Meadows. Earn 1.5 continuing education credits. For professionals and lay people.
Location: Winnetka Community House, 620 Lincoln Avenue, Winnetka, IL 60093
Thursday, April 7th, 2011 from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. Please contact me if you would like more information.

Presenting in Sacramento, CA on December 17, 2010

I will be presenting to a group of LDS women on December 17th, 2010 from 6:30 - 8:30 on the subject of sexuality and desire. I will be discussing the cultural, psychological, and relational barriers to healthy, happy sexual relationships, and how to overcome those barriers. The presentation will be held in Roseville, CA (outside of Sacramento). If you are interested in attending, please contact me through my website: http://www.finlayson-fife.com/ and I will send you directions. The cost of attendance is $25. Please pay at the door.

What is the normal amount of times to have sex/week? What does it mean if I want to have sex 4x/week and my wife wants to have it once?

According to some research reported by the Kinsey Institute, 13 percent of married couples reported having sex a few times per year, 45 percent reported a few times per month, 34 percent reported 2-3 times per week, and 7 percent reported four or more times per week. (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).

That said, what matters in determining what is the right amount of sex to be having is entirely dependent upon what you desire and what your wife desires. For example, I work with a couple who is having sex 3-4x week and they are both miserable because this is far to seldom for one of them. On the other hand, I work with another couple who is having sex 2-3x/month. This suits what they each desire. In spite of the difference in frequency, the first couple has a sexual problem, and the second couple does not.

If you are wanting sex more than your wife is, what it means is that the two of you have an issue to be resolved---not by determining who has the “right” level of desire and who has the “wrong” level (a tact taken by many), but instead by finding a way to better attend to and respect the needs of one another---just as we ought to do relative to any difference encountered in marriage. While there are many elements to be addressed and understood when there are differences in desire within a couple, the simple answer is to communicate and accommodate both ways. Too often in my experience, one person's needs are being addressed in the sexual relationship and the other person's are not. This is untenable. If one person is miserable (getting far less sex than they want or far more than they want), then for the sake of the overall relationship, the sexual relationship needs to be fundamentally addressed.